Tales of the Crapper Crew: Conley Cabin Edition

by Martha Reynolds, Cabin Coordinator
Photos: Bruce Berberick


Known for sustainability, moldering privies allow for the continuous decomposition and treatment of waste. They are often comprised of two bins, also known as cribs, in which the waste breaks down over time. An outhouse is situated atop one empty bin while waste in the second bin is allowed to compost. When the first bin is full, the outhouse can be shifted to the second bin as waste in the first bin decomposes.

This summer, Conley Cabin Co-Maintainer, Tim Ligon began planning a fall work trip to tend to the brimming, moldering privy at Conley Cabin. In this case, both bins were full because the outhouse had already been shifted once before. A small crew of volunteers would need to empty the first bin before the outhouse could be shifted from the second bin. With a surprising amount enthusiasm, Glen Tsaparas, Supervisor of Facilities; Bruce Berberick, Chair of Cabin Construction and Major Repairs; and Mark Walkup, Entry Run Tract Manger signed on to help Tim with this project.

As a seasoned member of the Crapper Crew, Glen took the lead. He explained that a Crapper Crew is usually comprised of four people. The first person shovels the composted waste into buckets, which the second person then spreads into the woods. Another person picks through the compost to remove non-compostable materials for proper disposal. Once the first bin has been emptied, it takes four people to slide the outhouse over this freshly emptied bin and secure it in place. As for the second, full bin, the crew then scatters a layer of wood chips over the dunnage and installs a cover to allow the waste to compost. After just a few hours, the crew’s task is complete! Please enjoy these photos of the Conley Cabin Crapper Crew hard at work.

Emptying the privy Keep in mind that this is just one of many Crapper Crews that volunteer to help maintain these rustic restrooms, across PATC territory. Should you ever come across one of these unsung heroes in your travels, remember to give a hearty thanks for their service. And, next time you partake of a privy, listen close. You might just hear the song of the Conley Crapper Crew in the distance…



The Kinda S___ the PATC Crapper Crew Do

O the crapper crew, the crapper crew
know what to do when there's too much poo
they've got shovels and muscles
and a whole tool kit
to clean the outhouse where the hikers s___

Now in my life there's been a lot of crap
it's been chicken crap, horse crap,
goat crap, goose drops
Grew up in a place  see how far
folk can wing cow flops
it's been bunny poo, guinea poop
fish crap, lizard scat
spent some days wadin’ through a lot of bull crap

But what ya gona do with the mud that we do?
That's the kinda s___ the PATC Crapper Crew do

O the crapper crew, the crapper crew
know what to do when there's too much poo
they've got shovels and muscles
and a whole tool kit
to clean the outhouse where the hikers s___

They do right side dung side
digging out the stink side
Left side clean hole
get 'r done by night fall
muscle that crapper to the poo-free new side

Now the outhouse on the clean sawdust pit sits
In the pretty wooded place where the hikers s___

O the crapper crew, the crapper crew
knew what to do with the too much poo
they brought shovels and muscles
and a whole tool kit

Now the outhouse on the clean sawdust pit sits
In the pretty wooded place where the hikers s___

G. Loher
c. Sept 21, 2020

Heroes of the Hole

When you belly's feeling muddled
'cause your colon has redoubled
squatty potty
squatty potty
 
Outhouse, commode, bidet or loo
it's the thing we all must do
everyone that is must poo
squatty potty
squatty potty
 
When Typhoid gripped the British nation
Prince Albert gave us sanitation
"put a bowl in every home
everyone must have their throne"
squatty potty
squatty potty
 
So sing hazzah and hip hip hurray
for the ones who dug away
beneath each seat and all our bowls
these unsung heroes have dug our holes
squatty potty
squatty potty
 
So next time that you need to sit
salute the one who dug your pit
to hold your pisses and your s___
for none of us could do without it
 
squatty potty
squatty potty
squatty potty
 
G.Loher
c. September 17, 2020